Fwd: do it yourself bikini wax...LOL...

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dede
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Fwd: do it yourself bikini wax...LOL...

Post by dede » Sun Jul 02, 2006 9:47 pm

>Do it yourself bikini wax
>
>
>
>All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of
>easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and
>now.....wax.
>
>My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix
>dinner, play with the kids.
>
>I then had the thought that would ring
painfully in my mind for the
>next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the
>medicine cabinet."
>
>So I headed to the site of my demise: The bathroom.
>
>It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a cup of hot wax,
>you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you
>peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and
>you pull the hair right off. No muss no fuss. How hard can it be? >I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to
>figure this out.(YA THINK!?!)
>
>So I pulled one of the thin strips out. It's two strips facing each
>other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius
>kicks in, so I get the hair dryer and heat it
up to 1000 degrees.
>(Cold wax, yeah right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the
>skin around it tight and pull. It works!! Ok, so it wasn't the
>best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal
>no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair
>and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
>
>With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I
>sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting
>championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. >Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right
>side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my Who-ha and
>stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was
a long
>strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRIIIPPP!!!!!
>
>I'm blind!!! Blind from pain!!!...OH MY GOD!!!!!
>
>Vision returning, I notice that I've managed to pull off half the
>strip.
>
>CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and
>spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear
>crashing drums??
>
>Breathe, Breathe...Ok, back to normal.
>
>I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has
>caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want
>to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up
>the strip!
>
>There is no hair on it.
>
>Where is the hair???
>
>Slowly I ease my head down, foot still
perched on the toilet. I see
>the hair. The hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am
>touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive of my
>body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.
>
>Then I make the BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped on
>the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. >DANG!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of the cell door.
>
>Who-Ha? Sealed shut!
>
>Butt? Sealed shut!
>
>I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do
>and think to myself "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My
>head may pop off!!"
>
>What can I do to melt the
wax? Hot water! Hot water melts wax! >I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in,
>immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can
>gently wipe it off right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!
>
>I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to
>torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
>
>Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued
>together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom
>of the tub...in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt
>cold wax. So, now I am stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I
>had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!
>
>God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a
>phone put
in the bathroom!!!!
>
>I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some
>secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation
>starter.....
>
>"So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the
>tub!!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks
>for removal, but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She
>wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking
>cheeks or hole or who-ha?"
>
>She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the
>rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. >YEAH!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
>
>While we go through the various
solutions. I resort to scraping the
>wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have you girlie
>goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super
>hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the
>brain is not working, my dignity has taken a hike, and I'm pretty
>sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counselling for this
>event.
>
>My friend is still talking with me when finally I see my saving
>grace...the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do
>I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY
>GOD!!!!!!!
>
>The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my
>friend. It's sooo painful, but I really don't care, "IT WORKS!! IT

>WORKS!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs
>up.
>
>I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my
>grief and despair...THE HAIR IS STILL THERE...ALL OF
>IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm
>numb by now.
>
>Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.
>
>I am going to try hair color next week...
day or not I'll be there:)

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pinkbandit
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Post by pinkbandit » Mon Jul 03, 2006 2:53 am

:shock: Ya i would stick to hair-dying too! :P :wink:
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