*God's Diet*

Post all your funny and stupid stuff. ;)
Post Reply
User avatar
pinkbandit
{qoou}
Posts: 1357
Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2005 4:11 pm
Location: Far away from LD!

*God's Diet*

Post by pinkbandit » Tue Aug 14, 2007 9:51 am

In the beginning God covered the earth with broccoli,
Cauliflower and spinach, with green, yellow and red vegetables of all kinds so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.

Then using God's bountiful gifts, Satan created Dairy Ice Cream and Magnums. And Satan said, "You want hot fudge with that? And Man said, Yes!" And Woman said, "I'll have one too with chocolate chips". And lo and behold they gained 10 pounds.

Then God created the healthy yoghurt that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.

And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat and sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size 14

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad".And Satan presented Blue Cheese dressing and garlic croutons on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said "I have sent you healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them".And Satan brought forth deep fried coconut king prawns, butter-dipped lobster chunks and chicken fried steak, so big it needed its own platter. And Man's cholesterol went through the roof.

Then God brought forth the potato; naturally low in fat and brimming with potassium and good nutrition. Then Satan peeled off the healthy skin and sliced he starchy centre into chips and deep-fried them in animal fats adding copious quantities of salt. And Man put on more pounds.

God then brought forth running shoes so that his Children might lose those extra pounds.And Satan came forth with a cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering light and started wearing stretch jogging suits.

Then God gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonalds and the 99p double cheeseburger.Then Satan said, "You want fries with that?" and Man replied, "Yes, and super size 'em". And Satan said, "It is good." And Man and Woman went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple by-pass surgery.

And then. Satan chuckled and created the *National Health Service.*


*THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION*

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.

*CONCLUSION:*

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

:lol:
Image

User avatar
special_Kare
Server Admin
Posts: 2581
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2004 10:54 pm
Location: Philadelphia,PA

Post by special_Kare » Tue Aug 14, 2007 11:01 am

:roflmao:!!!
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
--Hunter S. Thompson
Image

User avatar
Gabriel
Script Kiddie
Posts: 350
Joined: Sat Nov 18, 2006 8:11 am
Location: Rotterdam

Post by Gabriel » Fri Aug 17, 2007 12:26 am

..............no you didnt just rationalise obesity in america...thats SO wrong..
..you do get fat from all the fuckin stuff you put in your system and if you get fat...GO DO SPORTS OR SUMTHING YOU LAZY AMERICANS!!!
Being an angel aint everything

User avatar
PHatHome666
Script Kiddie
Posts: 441
Joined: Wed Mar 08, 2006 7:50 pm
Favorite Weapon: Ripper
Location: Downingtown, PA

Post by PHatHome666 » Fri Aug 17, 2007 1:51 am

hello to you too Gab
Wait... what?
Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.
Before.
Image
After.
Image
Image
Image

User avatar
Rickshaw
1337 H4X0R XTREME
Posts: 1332
Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2005 9:15 pm
Location: Illinois
Contact:

Post by Rickshaw » Fri Aug 17, 2007 6:48 pm

I'd offer a rebuttal to your claim that we are lazy Americans, but I'm just going to drink a Pepsi and eat Cheetos instead. Tens bags of cheetos.

And Ding Dongs.

Image
Image

Post Reply