3 Tortoises
- pinkbandit
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3 Tortoises
I just had to post this one, i thought it real funny
Three tortoises, Troy, Andy and Wayne, decide to go on a picnic. Troy
packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is that the
picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.
When they get there, Troy unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Wayne give me
the bottle opener" "I didn't bring it" says Wayne "I thought you packed it"
Troy gets worried, He turns to Andy, "Did you bring the bottle opener?"
Naturally Andy didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from home
without a bottle opener. Troy and Andy beg Wayne to go back for it. But
he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After two hours,
and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the
sandwiches, he finally agrees.
So Wayne sets off down the road at a steady pace. 20 days pass and he
still isn't back and Troy and Andy are starving, but a promise is a promise.
Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise.
Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each,
and just as they are about to eat them, Wayne pops up from behind a rock and
shouts?
"I knew it! .... I'm not fu*king going!"
Three tortoises, Troy, Andy and Wayne, decide to go on a picnic. Troy
packs the picnic basket with beer and sandwiches. The trouble is that the
picnic site is ten miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.
When they get there, Troy unpacks the food and beer. "Ok Wayne give me
the bottle opener" "I didn't bring it" says Wayne "I thought you packed it"
Troy gets worried, He turns to Andy, "Did you bring the bottle opener?"
Naturally Andy didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten miles from home
without a bottle opener. Troy and Andy beg Wayne to go back for it. But
he refuses as he says they will eat all the sandwiches. After two hours,
and after they have sworn on their tortoise lives that they will not eat the
sandwiches, he finally agrees.
So Wayne sets off down the road at a steady pace. 20 days pass and he
still isn't back and Troy and Andy are starving, but a promise is a promise.
Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise is a promise.
Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out a sandwich each,
and just as they are about to eat them, Wayne pops up from behind a rock and
shouts?
"I knew it! .... I'm not fu*king going!"
- special_Kare
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- pinkbandit
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- \/.oDK@
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special_Kare wrote:LD8242 wrote:and why would they drink beer and eat sandwiches, and it's take a tortoise more than 10 days to walk 10 miles.
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Then the joke isn't funny, it doesnt make any sensepinkbandit wrote:LOL ffs well they wouldn't obviously Does it take a tortoise 10 days to do 10 miles? how the bloody 'ell would i knowLD8242 wrote:and why would they drink beer and eat sandwiches, and it's take a tortoise more than 10 days to walk 10 miles.
- pinkbandit
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- pinkbandit
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- «Ìrðqµðï§_þlï§kïñ»
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yer i get some words that are censored and get changed into Iroquois_Pliskaning
LMF<O
LMF<O
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- pinkbandit
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- Captain_Obvious
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Ummm no, if it was walking at .25 mph, that would be 40 hours, which means he could easily accomplish it in 5-6 days with plenty of rest time.LD8242 wrote:and it's take a tortoise more than 10 days to walk 10 miles.
And judging by this page, that's a very reasonable speed.
http://hypertextbook.com/facts/1999/RachelShweky.shtml
You and the Cap'n make it happen!
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- pinkbandit
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Captain_Obvious wrote:Ummm no, if it was walking at .25 mph, that would be 40 hours, which means he could easily accomplish it in 5-6 days with plenty of rest time.LD8242 wrote:and it's take a tortoise more than 10 days to walk 10 miles.
And judging by this page, that's a very reasonable speed.
http://hypertextbook.com/facts/1999/RachelShweky.shtml
LOL
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Yes if it has a sense of directionCaptain_Obvious wrote:Ummm no, if it was walking at .25 mph, that would be 40 hours, which means he could easily accomplish it in 5-6 days with plenty of rest time.LD8242 wrote:and it's take a tortoise more than 10 days to walk 10 miles.
And judging by this page, that's a very reasonable speed.
http://hypertextbook.com/facts/1999/RachelShweky.shtml
- Captain_Obvious
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I've never met a tortoise that ate sandwiches, drank beer, used bottle openers, and had a poor sense of direction.LD8242 wrote:Yes if it has a sense of direction
Plus the joke only mentions one road, so we're forced to assume that the tortoise just had to follow the road, and thus would not have gotten lost easily.
You and the Cap'n make it happen!