Behavioural Problems

pinkbandit · Post by **pinkbandit** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 7:07 am

Some of the strange stuff we do, are we compulsive excessive Behavioural problems?

#1...Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know thebatteries are getting weak?

#2...Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they knowthere is no money in the account?

#3...Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billionstars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

#4...Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

#5...Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

#6...Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

#7...Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

#8...Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

#9...Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

#10..If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

#11..Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

#12..Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

#13..Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

#14..Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

#15..Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

#16..How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

#17..When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"

#18..Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

#19..In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

#20..How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

#21..If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you to do it?

#22..And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!

#23...And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.

Turbo_asswhup · Post by **Turbo_asswhup** » Mon Dec 12, 2005 10:59 am

hahahahahahahaha

its all true

LD8242 · Post by **LD8242** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 3:43 am

I know i'm a #23

\/.oDK@ · Post by **\/.oDK@** » Tue Dec 13, 2005 9:50 pm

Post by **Captain_Obvious** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 2:14 am

Ok here are my answers. How did I score?

#1...Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
I don't. I might move the remote closer and press it again though.

#2...Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they knowthere is no money in the account?
They're banks. They do it because they can. Plus they'll eventually get that money from you one way or another.

#3...Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billionstars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
It's impossible for them to check the sky for 4 billion stars. The wet paint is right there in front of them.

#4...Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Doesn't it??

#5...Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Even if I was about to die, I wouldn't want some gross rusty AIDs covered needle going into me.

#6...Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
He never hit puberty.

#7...Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Because they're KRYPTONITE REVOLVERS!!!

#8...Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
What if they crashed before they reached their targets?

#9...Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
Thome thick twithed perthon.

#10..If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
We didn't evolve from apes, we evolved from a common ancestor of today's apes.

#11..Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
The white is created from light reflecting off/through the bubbles, not from the actual bubble bath solution.

#12..Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Yes, but you mostly only hear about sales because that's when they're trying to push the most inventory.

#13..Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
They're hungry and the fridge has food in it, just nothing they're sure they want. I guarrantee that they wouldnt keep returning to the refridgerator if it was 100% empty.

#14..Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
String?? I'd put it in the trash can.

#15..Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
They're usually held closed by a vacuum and static electricity. Even if you pick the right side, chances are you wont be able to open it on the first try.

#16..How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Bugs are tiny. They have their ways.....

#17..When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
It's called courtesy?

#18..Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
I dont! But if I did, I imagine it would be because you're reacting quickly to the falling item without regard for the other items on the table.

#19..In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
I usually leave the house cold, but put on a sweat shirt.

#20..How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
Fathers-in-law aren't insane like mothers-in-law.

#21..If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try it like your wife told you to do it?
No comment.

#22..And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!
Skydivers have a backup chute.

Plus, when most people skydive for the first time, they're strapped to an instructor who does the dirty work for them.

#23...And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
The crazy people are all locked away. Errr most of them anyway.[/b]

\/.oDK@ · Post by **\/.oDK@** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 2:24 am

pinkbandit · Post by **pinkbandit** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 8:55 am

#23...And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
The crazy people are all locked away. Errr most of them anyway.[/b]

Well all except for you that is!!

LD8242 · Post by **LD8242** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 12:10 pm

Pink wrote:Well all except for you that is!

Him and everyone else on this forum

Post by **Captain_Obvious** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 5:30 pm

pinkbandit wrote:Well all except for you that is!!

Turbo_asswhup · Post by **Turbo_asswhup** » Sun Jan 29, 2006 11:21 pm

hahahahaha

nice

pinkbandit · Post by **pinkbandit** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:22 am

Captain_Obvious wrote:
pinkbandit wrote:Well all except for you that is!!
<img src="http://www.qoou.com/images/smiles/crazy.gif" width="25"><img src="http://www.qoou.com/images/smiles/crazy.gif" width="30"><img src="http://www.qoou.com/images/smiles/crazy.gif" width="25"><img src="http://www.qoou.com/images/smiles/crazy.gif" width="30"><img src="http://www.qoou.com/images/smiles/crazy.gif" width="25"><img src="http://www.qoou.com/images/smiles/crazy.gif" width="30"><img src="http://www.qoou.com/images/smiles/crazy.gif" width="25">

pinkbandit · Post by **pinkbandit** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 5:23 am

LD8242 wrote:
Pink wrote:Well all except for you that is!
Him and everyone else on this forum

well you maybe... I am perfectly sane ty

Post by **Captain_Obvious** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:19 am

Yeah. I think Pink is the only sane one here. And she's just here to hand out our meds and give us our shock therapy.

pinkbandit · Post by **pinkbandit** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 7:51 am

LMAO :pokes: CO with a cattled prod!

Keep taking those pills

LD8242 · Post by **LD8242** » Mon Jan 30, 2006 10:58 am

Captain_Obvious wrote:and give us our shock therapy.

by taking the bag off her head?

pinkbandit · Post by **pinkbandit** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 10:46 am

LD8242 wrote:
Captain_Obvious wrote:and give us our shock therapy.
by taking the bag off her head?

well that was uncalled for!

Post by **Captain_Obvious** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 5:51 pm

Yeah really.

Sorry LD, but the punishment for making fun of the Cat Lady is banishment for LIFE!!

Rickshaw · Post by **Rickshaw** » Tue Jan 31, 2006 7:13 pm

I am so disappointed that anyone would do such a thing.

The cat lady is your livelihood, LD. YOUR LIVELIHOOD!!!!

pinkbandit · Post by **pinkbandit** » Wed Feb 01, 2006 12:39 pm

Captain_Obvious wrote:Yeah really.

Sorry LD, but the punishment for making fun of the Cat Lady is banishment for LIFE!!

LD8242 · Post by **LD8242** » Wed Feb 01, 2006 3:11 pm

Just keep the bag on your head and I'll be happy

pinkbandit · Post by **pinkbandit** » Wed Feb 01, 2006 3:54 pm

LD8242 wrote:Just keep the bag on your head and I'll be happy

just keep your tongue in yours and we will all be happy

LD8242 · Post by **LD8242** » Wed Feb 01, 2006 5:54 pm

You didn't mind last night

pinkbandit · Post by **pinkbandit** » Thu Feb 02, 2006 8:52 am