http://www.qoou.com
It has come to my attention....
It has come to my attention....
Megor has brought to my attention that I AM ON THE qOOU FRONTPAGE FOR MOST POSTS!!!!!!!!
http://www.qoou.com
http://www.qoou.com
Here's to Rickshaw 
-
Captain_Obvious
- Site Admin
- Posts: 2819
- Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2004 4:36 am
- Favorite Weapon: Impact Hammer!
- Location: Mazon, AS
- Contact:
BOOYA!!!
Being a top fiver has it's perks. You'll find that you never have to pay for anything anymore, and you'll get plenty of invites to exclusive parties, but I should warn you. Being on the "list" has it's downsides. All the phone calls from the president have gotten a bit annoying, and those fake Axe commercials with all those women jumping out at you will become a daily hassle. (No I don't mean that women will literally jump at you, I just mean that it will seem like they're playing the commericals on TV a lot more.)
Furthermore, all of the drinking fountains around town will no longer shoot out water. Instead there will be a steady stream of Head and Shoulders flowing from them. But, it won't be bottled, so there will no way for you to stock it. Also, all of the soda machines will only accept canadian quarters, and they'll eat your REAL (american) money. You'll be kicking the soda machine trying to get it back, until a mountie trots over and throws you in prison for assaulting a soda machine. You try to tell the mountie that "WTF this is America! I have rights." But he says no, it's Canada.
Do you...
A) Claim diplomatic immunity and hope that they let you out of prison? (Turn to page 436)
B) Call George Bush and hope he isn't still mad at you for yelling at him after he called you 23 times in one night. (Turn to page 913)
C) Wait out your prison sentence. In Canada it's 25 years to life for assaulting a soda machine. (Turn to page 8 )
D) Forget about any long term plans, and focus on trying to get your cell mate "Bubba" to stop raping you as you read this post. (Turn to page 249)
Being a top fiver has it's perks. You'll find that you never have to pay for anything anymore, and you'll get plenty of invites to exclusive parties, but I should warn you. Being on the "list" has it's downsides. All the phone calls from the president have gotten a bit annoying, and those fake Axe commercials with all those women jumping out at you will become a daily hassle. (No I don't mean that women will literally jump at you, I just mean that it will seem like they're playing the commericals on TV a lot more.)
Furthermore, all of the drinking fountains around town will no longer shoot out water. Instead there will be a steady stream of Head and Shoulders flowing from them. But, it won't be bottled, so there will no way for you to stock it. Also, all of the soda machines will only accept canadian quarters, and they'll eat your REAL (american) money. You'll be kicking the soda machine trying to get it back, until a mountie trots over and throws you in prison for assaulting a soda machine. You try to tell the mountie that "WTF this is America! I have rights." But he says no, it's Canada.
Do you...
A) Claim diplomatic immunity and hope that they let you out of prison? (Turn to page 436)
B) Call George Bush and hope he isn't still mad at you for yelling at him after he called you 23 times in one night. (Turn to page 913)
C) Wait out your prison sentence. In Canada it's 25 years to life for assaulting a soda machine. (Turn to page 8 )
D) Forget about any long term plans, and focus on trying to get your cell mate "Bubba" to stop raping you as you read this post. (Turn to page 249)
You and the Cap'n make it happen!
Page 8
As soon as the mountie was out of sight, I walked right out of the jail cell, because hey, nobody locks anything in Canada.....especially not jail cells.
At the General Store I demanded a tin of Dapper Dan. However, George Clooney apparently ran off with the last one, so I bought a bag of Sour Patch Kids and an 8-ball of coke - a deadly combination. The only thing I was missing was a grease man, so I had no other choice except to carry out the Looky-loo. Do I.....
1.) Rewatch Ocean's 12 because I'm incredibly bored? (Page xxi)
2.) Play Neo-Geo games and drink dive-bombers all night? (Appendix A)
3.) Or do I drive around and show off my brand new 1993 Transport SE because it bounces like a boat. (Page 18)
It's true! Haven't you seen Bowling for Columbine?Rickshaw wrote:Page 8
As soon as the mountie was out of sight, I walked right out of the jail cell, because hey, nobody locks anything in Canada.....especially not jail cells.
We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. I remember saying something like “I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive…†And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. And a voice was screaming: “Holy Jesus! What are these goddamn animals?â€
