How To Shower Like a Woman
Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry
basket according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to
do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash. Rinse conditioner off hair.
Shave armpits and legs.
Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. If you see partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How To Shower Like a Man
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower.
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off. Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area. Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
Wash your hair.
Make a Shampoo Mohican
Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again.
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on. Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.
I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!!
Showering!
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Re: Showering!
pinkbandit wrote:How To Shower Like a Woman
cry at the size of yourself.
Take a shower.
eat 15 cakes.
cry about how your diet isn't working and consider going under the knife.
How To Shower Like a Man
If you see partner along the way, insert penis into her/him.
cry at the size of your willy and finger your bum.
Get in the shower.
"Wash" your penis.
"Wash" your penis again.
Blow your load in your hands and let your tongue lick it off.
Sex Wee.
Rinse off and get out of shower.
Partially dry off.
Fail to notice jizz on floor because penis was hanging out of bath the whole time.
cry at willy size in mirror again.
If you pass partner, pull off towel, insert penis into her/him again.
- pinkbandit
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Re: Showering!
rofl!pinkbandit wrote:If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."
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Re: Showering!
ewww its gross that lisa knows how a man showers
- pinkbandit
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Re: Showering!
Sound familiar? lolspecial_Kare wrote:rofl!pinkbandit wrote:If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
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Re: Showering!
Well considering i am married to one, i think i should know after 19 years! Especially when he is guilty of alot of the above!!Turbo_asswhup wrote:ewww its gross that lisa knows how a man showers
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