and I'm Jonesin' for a treat,
I close my eyes for a big surprise,
A Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch.
I love the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch,
the breasts they grow on trees.
And streams of thick ranch dressing
flow right up to your knees.
There's tumbleweeds of bacon
and cheddar paves the streets.
Folks don't front ya cuz you got the juice.
There's a trailer lady's coming with a nice caboose.
Never gettin' trouble, never need an excuse.
It's the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ra-anch.
I love the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch,
no one tells you to behave.
Your wildest fantasies come true,
Dallas Cheerleaders give you shade.
When onions make you laugh instead
and french fries grow like weeds.
You get to veg all day,
all the lotto tickets paid,
there's a king who wants you
to have it your way,
That's the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ra-anch.
-Darius Rucker
I was going to put this in music, but there's really no point to this topic
