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Megor has brought to my attention that I AM ON THE qOOU FRONTPAGE FOR MOST POSTS!!!!!!!!




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Here's to Rickshaw

BOOYA!!!

Being a top fiver has it's perks. You'll find that you never have to pay for anything anymore, and you'll get plenty of invites to exclusive parties, but I should warn you. Being on the "list" has it's downsides. All the phone calls from the president have gotten a bit annoying, and those fake Axe commercials with all those women jumping out at you will become a daily hassle. (No I don't mean that women will literally jump at you, I just mean that it will seem like they're playing the commericals on TV a lot more.)

Furthermore, all of the drinking fountains around town will no longer shoot out water. Instead there will be a steady stream of Head and Shoulders flowing from them. But, it won't be bottled, so there will no way for you to stock it. Also, all of the soda machines will only accept canadian quarters, and they'll eat your REAL (american) money. You'll be kicking the soda machine trying to get it back, until a mountie trots over and throws you in prison for assaulting a soda machine. You try to tell the mountie that "WTF this is America! I have rights." But he says no, it's Canada.

Do you...

A) Claim diplomatic immunity and hope that they let you out of prison? (Turn to page 436)

B) Call George Bush and hope he isn't still mad at you for yelling at him after he called you 23 times in one night. (Turn to page 913)

C) Wait out your prison sentence. In Canada it's 25 years to life for assaulting a soda machine. (Turn to page 8 )

D) Forget about any long term plans, and focus on trying to get your cell mate "Bubba" to stop raping you as you read this post. (Turn to page 249)

Page 8

As soon as the mountie was out of sight, I walked right out of the jail cell, because hey, nobody locks anything in Canada.....especially not jail cells.

At the General Store I demanded a tin of Dapper Dan. However, George Clooney apparently ran off with the last one, so I bought a bag of Sour Patch Kids and an 8-ball of coke - a deadly combination. The only thing I was missing was a grease man, so I had no other choice except to carry out the Looky-loo. Do I.....

1.) Rewatch Ocean's 12 because I'm incredibly bored? (Page xxi)

2.) Play Neo-Geo games and drink dive-bombers all night? (Appendix A)

3.) Or do I drive around and show off my brand new 1993 Transport SE because it bounces like a boat. (Page 18)

Rickshaw wrote:Page 8

As soon as the mountie was out of sight, I walked right out of the jail cell, because hey, nobody locks anything in Canada.....especially not jail cells.

It's true! Haven't you seen Bowling for Columbine?

Exactly! Michael Moore is never wrong

you know whats better than micheal moore left wing propeganda? conservative radio shows like mike savage and mike medved. infact they arent too far from you CO.

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